Kathryn Dobozy’s Story
Kathryn was a joy to have into our studio. She has been through so much, and yet is so strong. Here is her story!
What do you remember learning about your self worth from a young age? What impacted you the most that you’ve carried with you into adulthood (positive or negative)?
That I am here for reason despite how many people didn’t want me. Several things have impacted me till this day. One major thing that impacted me was when I was a young girl my pediatrician told me and my mom that I would kill myself before I was 20 because of all the rape and abuse I had to endure. I remember thinking why would he say that. I was really sad and hurt. I got to the point where I was only living to prove him wrong…that is until I had my first child..then I had so much more to live for…Now I am 40 and have 3 amazing kids 17, 19, and 20 . I couldn’t be more proud of them.
Tell me your story! What life experiences have made you who you are today?
In 1981 we were in a horrific car accident. A drunk driver hit us
[Mom, Dad, Brother (3 years old) and Me (1 year old)] at 70 mph.
The impact was so strong it threw me and my brother through the windshield. Killing my brother instantly. I was life flighted to several hospitals and each one would say there’s NO way she will make it..100% dead!
No one expected me to pull through.. After all my ribs were crushed, 6 in a skull fracture, multiple heart failures, collapsed lungs, ruptured spleen and liver, kidney was severely damaged they had to remove it…On top of all the blood loss cuts and bruises. The doctors had prepared my parents for the worst.
One night my parents were in the waiting room and a man came up to them and asked if he could pray for me..of course they said yes..well the next morning I was up wanting breakfast ..and a few days after that…I went home…WE went home.
Elementary school years were the worst. We had moved into this nice neighborhood..but the kids in that Neighborhood were nothing but trouble. They were my bullies. I hated school. I remember always getting sick on the bus In The mornings because I knew the hell that awaited me. I had to ride the bus with the bullies to and from school and every day they threw trash on me, pull my hair, try to stab me with pencils, call me names.. every day I would come home crying and lock myself in the bathroom and cry until dad got home from work and had to take the door off the hinges …to make things worse I was being rapped by my dad’s friends son from the time I was 5 till I was about 10… every time we went over to their house or they came to our house..he always got us alone so he could do things to me. It got so bad that I would pee all over myself at school and had to be humiliated in front of the class. I remember when our parents caught him rapping me..he was on top of me in their hall bathroom..the door flies open and his parents ripped him off me and all my parents could say was “LOOK what YOU did! I can’t believe YOU did this!”
We never spoke about it again until I was about 17 or 18yrs old..I guess mom thought it would be a great idea to remind me of that horrible time. She said as we pulled into our driveway “you know you were rapped when you were little”.. I just looked at her and said” I’ve thought about it every day of my life mom”
And that was the last time we spoke to the rape…
Middle school and High School were much better..even though I struggled with my grades…I felt safe.
And now to adulthood..smh things didn’t get any better. I met a guy who I thought loved me but I was a stupid naive girl who was blinded by “love”. He told me that if I really loved him I would sleep with him..smh he said that if I didn’t sleep with him he would sleep with someone else. And yes I was stupid enough to go along with that..so I ended up pregnant. He was very abusive. Physically mentally, emotionally, verbally, spiritually..he was a ticking time bomb. The smallest things would set him off. It was so bad he tried to kill himself in front of our son. I had to grab the knives by the blades and break them off the handle so he wouldn’t hurt himself in front of our son…we eventually had 2 more kids and At this point, he had started punching me in front of the kids..so I waited for the perfect moment and slammed my fist into his face and I left with the kids and never went back.
We were 2 days from Closing on a brand new custom home..but instead, I was homeless with the kids living out of the car for a few days..we eventually moved back in with my parents. We started going to church with my friend. We stayed there for over 17yrs. I endured a lot of abuse there as well.
But through all of the pain and suffering, I have come to realize a few things.
1. My bullies were being bullied themselves. People who bully others are often in a lot of pain and hurting. They need love too.
2. There are people who will love you for you.
3. When we treat people with kindness it makes a positive difference. Especially be kind to those who are mean. Be extra nice to them..we never know what someone is really going through.
4.you can use your pain and suffering to help others down the road who are going through the same or similar things that you went through.
5. Don’t base your self worth on the opinions of others. Don’t get directions from a blind man.
6.we all have a purpose.
7. Do Not end your story! It’s just about to get good.
8.a bad day or week does not equal a bad life.
9. If you fall get back up. Don’t give up.
10. Be you. Embrace your be-you-tiful selves.
11. YOU WERE NOT CREATED TO BE LIKE HER OR HER OR THEM…YOU WERE CREATED TO BE YOU!
you were chosen for a very special reason. A purpose only you can fill.
12. Life is hard but it’s also beautiful.
13. Not everyone will like you and that’s ok.
14.forgivness is powerful.
15. Love everyone. Treat everyone the way you would want to be treated…regardless of how fowl the maybe.
16. Be humble. Pride comes before the fall.
17.be selfless. Put others needs before your own.
18. You are irreplaceable.
19. Your true beauty comes from within.
20. Keep GOD above everything else. Draw near to GOD and HE will draw near to you.
What is the hardest thing that you have had to overcome? What is the life lesson that you learned from it that you could pass on to others?
Never being good enough. Self acceptance. 99% of my relationships failed because I didn’t look like someone else or I was to fat or not pretty enough etc after these relationships I hated myself for not being good enough. I always screwed things up etc
Until one day a stranger told me that you were always enough it was them who could not see your worth.
What is your definition of self love?
Protection & Provision.
Do you think you’re lovely?
What is your favorite NON physical feature about yourself? (After all, beauty is only skin deep!)
What words of wisdom, based on your personal experience, would you like to share with others who struggle to see their own self worth?
You are incredibly beautiful. I know this is hard now but trust me it does get better. Keep going.
Why are beautiful photos important for you right now?
How does being the woman you are today make you uniquely powerful?
I use what the enemy meant to destroy me to help others he’s trying to destroy now. It’s not easy but we are not alone in this fight. We need to stick together and build eachother up in prayer and encouragement.